16 February 2011

#31 Be mine?


We used to be bestfriends, but that was before we ruined it by changing our bestfriends status to a ups-level ; in-a-relationship. Sigh. I am the biggest liar in the world if I say I don't miss you and if I say I don't miss the way we used to be because I do. I really really do, more than you know and I hate the situation when I accidentally listened to some songs that immediately make me remember you, remember all the-sad-sweet-memory-that-once-happened-between-us. I miss your calls and your cute messages saying goodnight everyday before I go to bed. I miss our twentyfour/seven texting everyday about useless stuff. I miss my old-bestfriend who used to tease me and make me laugh by his silliest joke in the world. I miss the time when I go crazy with him and the 'shy' feeling that I'll get everytime I'm around him. I miss talking to him, I miss debating with him about lots of  random stuff and then laughing our ass off about how stupid we have been. I miss our arguing and fighting moment everyday and you'll make me stop sulking by saying iloveyous and i know that's specially dedicated for me.

It used to happen between us,
But now, you started being so quiet and ignoring me, or another exact word, avoiding me. I don't know what's wrong with you but since our breakups, you changed. Really. You're not the same person like I used to know before. Yep. I feel incredibly sad when I lost you as my boyfriend but I feel super sad when I realize that I have lost you too, as my bestfriend who used to be everyday beside me no matter what happen. Who always be there everytime I need someone to lean on. I lost it. I lost everything . And I'd be lying if I say I feel nothing everytime I see your conversation with others. You don't know do you? I feel like I want to scream and let the whole world know that I am, ugh jealous everytime reading you guys conversation. You treat her like you treat me before, and the way you treat me now was like super familiar on how you once treat her. I don't know what the hell that has happen to me but I keep posting cheesy post about how we used to be, how much I miss you. Ugh damn it. I've to wake up. It's in the past. Stop regretting sha, please. Ah damn it. I hate my life.

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