Last two days i guess, i have some deep talk with Ain. We talked about random things about life, god, problems, struggles, future essentra. I told every single thing about my life, problems because yeah i trust her. I feel like i wanna cry, like seriously. And the bell rang so i have to get in the class as it is puan ilmiah's class. You know how you feel when you keep bottled up everything, faking your smile and when once you bring on the stories and decided to told others, everything burst out like volcano, and yes i do cry. You know when you cry in the class, everyone would stare at you asking why did you cry and you can't even told them why. So they keep staring and staring until you feel super uncomportable and yep, i decided to go to toilet to wash my face and blurt eveything there.
So, i asked for puan ilmiah permission, then i went to aishahzaidi's class and ask for the teacher's in the class permission to see her for a while. Friends. There's no need to tell everything. As she looked at my eyes, she knew something wrong has happened to me and she asked me why? We had a walk to toilet. You know the feeling when you act tough, act like nothing happen and suddenly someone hug you and you burst into tears. You know, do you? And yes she hugged me, tight-hug asking me what's wrong with me and she listened to my problems for almost an hour, i guess. And yknow, what's suprised me a lot is, she cried too. Tell me, can you find anyone of your friends that would cry too when you cry. The one which will be by your side when you need a shoulder to cry on? I bet, there's none. This isn't fairytale or melodrama-novels. This is real life. And when i see her cried, i know who will always there for me when i need someone to lean on.
Aishahzaidi: You are not alone. Kau ada aku, kau ada ain, kau ada aten, kau ada aiman, and kau ada ALLAH. He's planning something better for you.
Me: Tapi kenapa hidup org lain mcm perfect sangat, smooth samgat. Kau bagitau aku, apa masalah kau? Ada tak? Takde kan?
Aishahzaidi: Semua org ada masalah cuba cara Allah turunkan ujian tu je berbeza. Mungkin dugaan untuk aku turun dengan cara yang lain. Allah turunkan ujian tu dekat kau sebab dia tahu kau kuat nak hadapi ujian tu. Allah tak kan seksa hambanya lah kalau Dia tahu hamba dia tak kuat nak hadapi dugaan tu. Kau tak boleh kata macam tu, kau ada kawan-kawan kau. You are not alone. Lagi lama Allah turunkan ujian tu, lagi baik planning yang Allah tengah buat.
Yes, we don't know future man. Thankyou Aishah. Like a lot. I don't know how i could ever thanked you. You make me feel better, everytime i want the need of feeling better. Thanks again, sha.
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